Recently, one of my mentors challenged me to give MORE time to God. Realistically speaking, I have less time these days than ever. My son recently started school and life feels so much crazier now with school drop-offs and pick-ups and preparing uniforms and lunches.
It’s so much more challenging to find the time to fit anything in. So, I haven’t. For weeks now, I’ve hustled hard to cram everything in. I’ve talked to God here and there, but the long sessions of reading, studying and listening have dwindled, especially since my son started thinking it was a good idea to wake up at 4:30, 5:00 and 5:30 in the morning. What was previously a break in my day has dwindled down to a harrowingly earlier start to my day.
And because I couldn’t have the perfect devotional with Bible, journal and inspiring music, I began opting for nothing.
Then, I had my conversation with my mentor.
Losing my courage
I told her I was losing my courage. I was starting to feel myself losing hope about the future plans I had made. And she listened and then asked me, how’s your time with God.
I then tried to explain to her the reality of my situation. I just didn’t feel like I had much time. Logically, I didn’t see how I could set-up my new business in the amount of time I had each day. I said, I know I can’t do this thing without God, but I don’t have time for Him either.
I felt bad letting the words come out of my mouth.
And she said, do you want to challenge Him?
I chuckled to myself. I really didn’t want to challenge Him. That would mean I’d have to take a leap of faith and give up some of my precious time. It would put me in the vulnerable spot of somehow feeling responsible for God making up the time – what if He didn’t come through?
I left it hanging but knew I needed to do something.
My enormous task list
The next day, after dropping my son off, I arrive back in the house and moved toward my computer desk to get ready to start working.
I could feel my body almost buzzing ready to plow through the enormous list of tasks I needed to get through.
Because of the conversation from the previous day, I went to find my Bible and tuck in to it.
But, as I sat there, I couldn’t seem to concentrate. All I could think about was how I was going to get everything done that I needed to finish.
And in the back of my mind, I heard a tiny voice saying, “Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus”. It was a small repeating whisper.
So, I decided, I’ll go for a walk and listen to that song. And that’s what I did, and when I turned the song on it hit me. It wasn’t just a whisper, it was an invitation. The invitation was to turn my eyes upon Jesus.
Turn your eyes upon Jesus
And then, I found the Lauren Daigle version of the song, and I just began vibing. Each word spoke specifically to my heart.
This is when I realised I was putting unnecessary pressure on myself to have these perfectly scripted devotionals with proof texts, concordances and long prayer sessions and Jesus just wanted me to come as I am and spend time with Him.
I want to invite you to come as you are, to look full in His wonderful face and mostly, I want to invite you to allow Jesus to make you into His image.
Don’t put too much pressure on yourself, just be in Jesus’ presence and turn your eyes on Him.
[The Song]: Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus
Helen H. Lemmel
O soul are you weary and troubled
No light in the darkness you see
There’s light for a look at the Saviour
And life more abundant and free
Through death into life everlasting
He passed, and we follow Him there
Over us sin no more hath dominion
For more than conquerors we are
Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace
His word shall not fail you, He promised
Believe Him and all will be well
Then go to a world that is dying
His perfect salvation to tell
Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace